Year 2, Part 2
Okay humans, it's recap time. Hey girl, don't look at me like that! Pal understands this, don't you Pal? Yeah, yeah, don't call you that. I gotcha. Now lemme intro this thing.
Okay now. This is an alternate universe. Here, Angel looks like the girl you call Willow. Will looks like the guy you call Angel.
Romantically, things are kinda the same. I mean, Buffy and Will are still drawn together, but they're like Willow and Xander in your universe; Buffy basically tries very hard to ignore Will, because he's mortal and therefore vulnerable.
Xander and Angel -- who looks like Willow -- are drawn together, but this time, it's she who is ignoring him. They do the same dumb kissy thing that Buffy and Angel do in your universe. Of course, Angel doesn't lose her soul, because she's human.
-What-? Stop looking at me like that, Seren! You and Pal. Yeah, yeah, don't...Anyway, Angel is an assassin for the Order of Turaka here. She's actually closer to Patrice in your universe than Angel. Patrice? Hello? You know, weapons cop that pulled the gun on Buffy and got wasted by Kendra?
Okay, Angel nearly kills Buffy but Oz saves her at the last moment. They're all cuddly right now. Oz is still inexplicably attracted to Angel, though. Exactly, Pal. You humans are funky lil' critters.
Will, meanwhile, takes Xander's role in the dating department. The Angel-analogue, Will O'Riley, is dating Cordelia after they liplock. Don't believe it could happen? Cordy did try to nab your Angel back when he first came to town, if you remember.
Happy now? Now put away the Brand of Torment, Pal...askar, and let me write the story.
-----
*Drusilla's diary
Dear Diary,
I must've been a very good girl this year. I got the most special surprise for my birthday.
It wasn't the pretty fireworks. Spike tries to get those every year. This year was extra special.
This year I got my pretty Angel back. She came in all cross, and nearly had a conniption fit, because she wasn't getting any warm fuzzies. She does the bloodiest thing with a knife...I have to get her to show me how. It's all red and gushy.
Then Spike tells her that he still has some of the SPECIAL clay. He's trying to surprise me, but you can't surprise Mummy, can you, Diary?
We had so much fun. There was fire everywhere, and smoke, and death. Lovely death. But I'm sad for Angel, because she didn't get any fuzzies.
It's all that bad Slayer's fault. She's bad. BAD BAD BAD She stole one of my special party favours for herself. She CHEATED! And you're not supposed to cheat. No. Because then you must be PUNISHED.
My Spikey says we're going to punish the bad slayer yet, and Angel will get her fuzzies. He said so, he promised.
And he always keeps his promises.
-----
*Buffy's diary
I'm going to kill her.
I'm going to take that axe of hers and chop her into kibble.
I mean, fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. The sad part is that Xander's still all clingy.
I suppose I should start at the beginning. Xander comes in to school the day after we blow up Spike and Co. (well, after we thought we did -- more on that later) and he's all happiness and grins. So I'm like, "Who threw you a party?" and he tells me about his night with Angel.
And it didn't bother me at all. It's his life, why should it bother me? It's not my problem that Oz is taking things slow and...wait it is.
My life is just this big, upside-down, inside-out, exploding ball of chaos.
Don't believe me?
Lemme tell you what happened next.
The real fireworks started that night.
Seems Spike not only survived, he had a hidden cache of explosives. So it's Kombat Time as the whole gang piled into Oz's van chasing Spike's goons around town. We ended up at the mall, and there's Angel with the remote trigger, and she's -totally- lost it. Xander started to talk to her, and she's all Bitterness Chick, talking about their time together, saying, "What number was I, Xander? Can you even count that high?" and I'm in the Twilight Zone again, where Xander is suddenly Casanova and I'm one of his conquests.
[Recap: Angel is crazy-jealous. As in, Buffy sends him a thank-you card for her birthday party, Angel reads it, and thinks it's a 'Thank-You!!' card for a nice night. Like people do that!]
Angel goes for the button, but at the last second, Xander grabs the remote and runs like hell. Angel goes after him with the axe, and I grab the rocket launcher. That was his plan. (Scary, isn't it? Xander. Plan.) I fire right into Spike and Dru; they dodge, but I'm not aiming for them, but their explosives. The ones left over, anyway.
I turn to see if Xander's alright, and Angel is looming over him with the axe. She straddles him, kneels a bit, to pick him up with her gloved hand and whisper something in his ear. He never told me what. Then she's off to help her two new bestest buds in the whole wide world, who are kinda crispy after the explosion.
Everybody regroups. We call this one a draw.
On the up side, I told Oz about the whole Sunndale-Hellmouth-vampires thing and he didn't wig a bit. Actually, it seemed like he thought it was kinda cool.
-----
*Angel's diary
Dear Diary,
I'm going to kill him. Nobody crosses me, and lives. That's why I know so many dead people, y'know?
Dru's whole party was a bust because of that bitch. I think I'll kill her too. I'd like that.
Oh sure, there were explosions, and casualities, but nobody really important died. Xander even grabbed the remote detonator from me and smashed it, after I chased him. Stupid, stupid, stupid! I should have made it a deadman's....But I'm going to have my fun with him. I even told him so.
If only it wasn't for HER....
Spike and Dru...they're such a perfect couple. Why can't my love life be like that? At least they're real comforting about it. "Don't worry, Red," Spike told me. "We'll get 'em yet." But I'm bitter still, and Dru comes over, and hushes me, draws me close.
"Y'know, Dru an' me," Spike says to me, "we were wonderin', well....if we ever sired childer we'd like them to be like you. Not that me an' Dru would ever settle down...'Cause that's soft."
It's the nicest thing he's ever said to me. 'Course I don't tell him. His ego'd never take it. I just smile.
-----
*Will's diary
Dear Diary,
Cordelia Chase is insane. There's no other way to explain it. In fact, I must be crazy too, because I think I love her.
Valentine's Day, right? Time for tender gifts and sweet romance. I give Cordy a beautiful silver heart necklace. She gives me a break-up.
I nab Amy Madison to cast a love spell for me. She tells me that my intentions have to be pure. Which should be no problem. I'm pure as the driven snow, in matters of love.
So we go through this big production with candles, incantations, and me in a giant Venus symbol, with my mind focused with all my discipline on how much I love Cordelia. As the spell is about to finish, Buffy pops into my head. It's only for a moment. What can go wrong?
The first wrong thing is that Cordy seems to be unaffected. The second wrong thing is that Buffy suddenly wants to be my study buddy. I shrug it off as something that'll correct itself with time. Hoo boy, am I ever wrong.
I go back to my dorm, to find Buffy clothed (and I use the term loosely) in this really short black raincoat. Waiting for me. "It's a party," she says. "Don't you want to open your present?"
Nooooooo...! It's a nightmare/dream come true. I mean, this has always been lurking in the back corner of my mind since, well, ever since I saw her. She was so beautiful. And not just in the physical way. There's a goodness inside her, a light. But I couldn't see any of that as she advanced on me, and pinned me, with my back to the door. And she's saying, how she could, er, -force- me, if that's the kind of guy I am. The scary thing is, with her Slayer abilities, she probably could.
That is just not how I want it to be between us. So I tell her to go lie down, I have to go to the bathroom. And brush my teeth. And take a shower. A cold one. She doesn't comply at first, but then I put this sad puppy dog face on and beg for all I'm worth. And then I run like Hell to get Amy.
I find Amy, but Buffy's gotten impatient and has followed me. She's about to knock Cordy into next week when we reverse the spell. I explain everything to Cordy, of course leaving out the Buffy-in-my-room part. Cordelia's taken aback that I'd harness the forces of Hell to get her. She says something about how nice I look in leather, and we sorta make up.
Of course, I have to endure shopping for an entire new wardrobe for me with her, but hey, love hurts.
Buffy didn't even want to come within 10 feet of me. She tried to bring up the whole in-my-room thing, saying how she'd never hurt me, especially not like that. I tell her I'd rather not talk about it, and that's the truth. Things are going to be uncomfortable between us for awhile, but at least we're not Angel and Xander.
-----
*Oz's diary
Dear Diary,
The cravings are back. Giles told me by way of Buffy that they were just a side effect of Angel's hooch, and that they would go away quickly. Which they did. But now, hey, they're back.
What was that stuff, anyway? It tasted like blood.
Blood...I suddenly have this urge for a rare steak. Time to feed the beast.
-----
*Oz' diary, again
Dear Diary,
Woke up naked and alone in some godforsaken place. Doesn't take a genius to figure that I'm the werewolf. Told Buffy, who told Giles, and we all figure it's cool, I can be locked up in the weapons cage during the full moon. So everything's fine, except for this time since there's a werewolf hunter in town, hunting me. I not worried, though. Nothing much I can do about it tonight.
That's up to my friends.
-----
*Buffy's diary
Dear Diary,
My world is all askew. (My new word for the day. Okay, year. But SAT's are next year, and Will said it was a good excuse to increase my verbal.)
Oz is a werewolf, right? We lock him up. Everyone's safe from him. Except, he's not safe from everyone, namely Cain the Werewolf Hunter...just how many other humans are out there, involved with the Dark Powers? Anyway, I catch him and Angel having a heart-to-heart in the library.
The strange thing is, looks like Angel's protecting Oz from Cain. I sneak up behind him, nab Cain's gun, impress him with my Slayer strength a bit by bending it a little, then tell him to get out of town. As a favor to Oz, I don't kill Angel.
Afterwards, I look at Oz, and wonder why I can't have a normal life. He says, "Normal's overrated. Ever see anyone stand up in a crowd, and yell, 'Hey! I'm normal! Lookit me!'" I start to go on about how I'm sub-normal, but Oz....he just tells me I'm special.
He's so sweet. I don't deserve him.
-----
*Angel's diary
Dear Diary,
Man alive. Cain is the last guy I'd thought I'd meet in this godforsaken town.
Turns out Oz got himself bit by a werewolf, which should make him normal by Sunnydale standards. Then I find out that I'm not the only one who turned to the Light among the Order. But Cain! Damn, I thought that codger'd never get involved in this stuff, especially after he retired.
He even told me not to do things like that. "Angel," he said, right before I made Master Assassin, "you're smart. Stay that way. Don't involve yourself in other people's messes. Don't try and play the hero. Don't get dead." And yet, here he is, playing hero.
I told him about how Oz saved Buffy, about how I feel guilty about nearly killing him. I expect Cain to give me the usual lecture on witnesses, but instead he just backs down.
We exchange looks, and he asks if I still have the ring he gave me. My apprenticeship ring. I say yes, of course, but he knows I'm lying, and I know he knows.
[Yes folks, they're talking about the ring Angel gave to Xander. It's Cain's Turakan Master Assassin ring. Sort of a parting gift between Cain and Angel. The analogue in your universe is the what the hell, damn Gaelic, you know that ring Angel gives Buffy before he loses his soul. Why can't all humans speak the same language? Stupid Tower of Babel.]
Then Buffy enters, and Cain's gotta book, after she pulls the 'I-am-Slayer, fear-me' bit. "Stay alive," he says. "Yeah," I say, and then I have to work out this deal with Buffy where she doesn't kill me, and I don't kill her. Y'know, normal, quotidian stuff.
-----
*Angel's diary
Dear Diary,
I figured it was high time I got off my chair, stopped making diabolical plans, and actually -did- something. Spike's right. There's a time for strategy, and a time for fun. But I figure I could at least combine the two. :-)
What, I ask you, would hurt Xander most? The death of one of his friends. What would hurt the Slayer most? Ditto. Now I figured, that makes Will a prime target. But y'know, the more I thought about it, the less promising it seemed. I mean, sure, there's blood and tragedy, but what do they lose overall? A research geek. And they still have a spare one in Ms. Calendar.
No, I need something more original. Something unexpected. And then Spike suggests, out of the blue, that I 'off that bloody Watcher. Slayers always hate that.' And he's right! It's a great scenario. Buffy'll blame Xander, the Slayerettes will lose training -and- research ability, and I'll finally have a challenge hand-to-hand for the first time in weeks.
That Spike. It's times like these that make me see why Dru loves him so.
-----
*From the diary of Jennifer Calendar, computer teacher and Gnostic mystic
Dear Diary,
Whistler came by today. He's wondering how I'm doing with our charge. I told him that the sword is safe, and that he's ok. Whistler made some crack about how the Order tends to screw things up -- it's not my fault what happened at the end of the Middle Ages -- and how I'm to watch Angel carefully. "Nobody expected her," he said. And of course, I'm not let anyone on, especially Rupert.
[Note to self: Find better allies. Humans and their knightly orders. First Tepes, now this.
Wha'? Vlad Tepes III, Knight of the Order of the Dragon? Count Dracula! Don't tell me you've never heard of him.]
If he finds out I'm more than just your ordinary Christian mystic...I don't know how our relationship will go. But I hate hiding this from him, especially after that mess with Eyghon. We're just so...uncomfortable around each other.
But we have time. After all, the world isn't going to end for a while yet.
-----
*Angel's diary
Dear Diary,
Now THAT was GOOD.
He put up a really decent fight. I was unblooded since it was daytime; besides, I didn't figure I'd need it.
Wow, was I ever wrong. I must have stabbed him four or five times before he disarmed me. I didn't even get a good opportunity to use any of my special techniques, his defense was that solid. Even with the blade poison and the weight in the sap glove (nevermind the nifty taser effect I added) he refused to go down.
But you know, that's why I have the axe.
Afterwards, I finally got my warm fuzzies. I rubbed my hands across the arms of my sweater, reveling in the moment.
Life is good. It really is.
-----
*Will's diary
Dear Diary,
I'm writing this in case I don't come back. Buffy, Xander and I are going to stop Angel once and for all. Buffy didn't want Xander and I to come along, but I insisted, and Xander, well, Xander just wanted to help, I think.
It's bad enough that his gf goes postal and tries to blow up half the town. Now Buffy woke up to Giles in her bed, only it wasn't Giles, not all of him. Just some sick re-interpretation of a mob myth.
[I'd show you the entry where this whole thing gets described, but apparently even worldwalkers like me have to answer to censors.]
This is all Xander's fault, but I don't know whether to hate him or feel sorry for him. He did get the rest of Giles....which is why Angel has to die.
Buffy, if you're reading this --
-----
*Angel's diary
Dear Diary,
It's all gone horribly wrong.
One minute I'm relaxing with Dru and Spike. I presented Dru with Giles' heart; she loved it. And even Spike was happy. Then Dru turns to Spike, all of a sudden, and asks him, "Spike, do you love me?"
He didn't even get to say a word before the bolt is in her, and she's dust.
The Slayer's up on the catwalk, and she's tossing some of the shaped charges I trapped the factory with at us. Explosions turn into blazing flames as Spike charges for the stairs. I go for my Glock, laying down cover fire, but she's already moving, coming for me.
Buffy and Spike collide at the top of the stairs. She's got this wicked mace with her. She and Spike are grappling over it, I can't get a clean shot. I fire a few blindly -- after all Spike's a vamp, he'll recover, she won't -- and then I remember the fire. Somebody added a Molotov or two to the bomb mix, and the fire is growing. Fast.
I run like the coward I am.
The flames consume the factory as I reach the outside. I watch, helpless, as my past goes up in flames.
-----
*Will's diary
Dear Diary,
I was scared. I admit it. I thought Buffy had bought it, when I saw the flames, and nobody came out. But I went in anyway, to see Spike with a deathgrip on her, choking her. And then the catwalk collapsed.
I grabbed the mace, and whacked Spike's burning form away from Buffy. The smoke's started to get to me then, but Buffy's a lot worse. I grab her and drag her with all the speed, all the strength I have to take her from this hell, this madness.
I almost end up resusicitaing her again, when she sputters, and jokes about how much I'd like that. And everything is going to be ok, for once. Spike should be dead now.
I hope.
-----
*Angel's diary
Dear Diary,
It was touch-and-go for a while there. But he's getting better, especially after I used all the Three blood on him...well almost all, I saved a packet just in case he doesn't make it. Because I will, and then I'll need it.
[Wondering where Angel got the Three blood? Well, we never did find out what happened to the body of the last member of the Three...that's why she -axed- him instead of staking or shooting him with the crossbow. Waste not, want not.]
He looks awful and says he feels worse, except after I hit him with a shot of adrenaline. Even then, it doesn't last. He, he doesn't want to go on. Not without her.
If only we could get her back, everything would be like it was before. He'd do anything for her, and sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't do anything for them. After all, they're the closest things to friends I have left.
But it's not like we can just walk down to Hell, cheat death, and come back out again. No. This is going to be messy, any which way it ends.
-----
*From a note found by Buffy Summers
Dear Buffy,
By the time you read this, I will have gone to face my Destiny.
I suppose you're wondering what regular old Will O'Riley is doing with a destiny. Well, I happen to come from a long line of Irish knights. A very long line, as it turns out. Seems one of my ancestors was one of the three Quest Knights of Arthurian legend. It's a sacred charge that's been passed down from father to son for centuries.
In the eleventh century, one of my ancestors stopped Acathla. Now I have to do the same. My uncle Iggy gave me a sword that should do the trick. He and Ms. Calendar tell me I was born to it, that it'll increase my skill tenfold. And before you go worrying, I do have real swordmanship skills. I've been taking Tai Chi ever since I was 13 or so, and graduated to sword about five or six years ago.
I should be just fine. But if I'm not ---------- and be happy with Oz.
Love, your friend,
Will
[Poor kid. He's too honorable to admit his love for her. At least he wrote it down before crossing it out. But he has to face his Destiny. He's the Quest Knight. The pure one. The one who heals the land, by finding the Grail. And incidentally, the one who stops Acathla.
That's what's supposed to happen! How come someone always messes things
up?! At least I didn't leave the sword with Kendra in this universe. Not
that it turned out to matter much anyway.]
-----
*Buffy's diary
Dear Diary,
My life is just full of surprises.
First, I get Will's note. 'Natch, I'm off to save him, and the world too. Ms. Calendar told me that Kendra would be here soon, or would have, except that somebody hacked into the airline ticketing and rescheduled her flight for -after- the end of the world.
[Yes, Viginia, Angel can hack in this universe too. Okay, okay, Seren, I'll be nicer to the readers! Yeah, yeah, this isn't just for my own edification. I hear you.]
So I'm at the big mansion Ms.Calendar told me about. Acathla is there alright, and Will is too. On the floor. Not moving. Spike is there, looking like he can barely stand, propped up on a bar or cane or something. Angel's by his side, covering me with her gun.
"Normally," Spike says, "I'm not one for show. But I want you to see what's going to happen to you, and your friend, when I get my Dru back. The look is bound to be priceless. Pity, though. I'm going to miss the dogs." He pauses, fingers something in his pocket. "They'll be among the first to go." He pulls out an industrial-size syringe and plunges it into his chest. He spasms with newfound energy.
[Adrenaline does that.]
"Right then! Time for you to go to Hell." He takes the syringe again, and tears open his palm with it in a scraping motion. It looks like it's really painful, but he doesn't seem to care. He just grins. Then, before I can stop him, he touches the sword in Acathla's chest.
I go for Will's sword as Spike raises the iron bar in his right hand. "You know," he says, "the look really is priceless." Then we start to go at it.
I'm not making any headway. Whatever was in that syringe made him as strong and as fast as he ever was. I'm just not the right person for this, Will would've had the skill to stop Spike, but Angel's packing. Why doesn't he have her blow me away? She can't possibly miss at this range.
Then Acathla gets that hellacious grin, and the portal starts to open.
Then it hits me. "He can't protect you, Angel," I say between parries. "Do you think they'll let a human, even one like you, go unpunished in Hell?"
"Spike, she's lying, isn't she?" Angel asks.
"'Course," Spike answers. "You've got connections, same as me an' Dru."
"Do you really want to bet an eternity on that?" I counter.
Spike's about to speak when Angel shoots him. About a dozen times. The portal wraps strange fire around him as in pulls him in. I look into Hell, just for a moment, and Drusilla really is there, waiting. Then he's gone, and so is the portal.
[I really didn't think she would do it. I figured Will would be enough. It's his destiny. But Jenny convinced me to send Buffy as backup. Good thing, apparently.]
I don't really know what to say to Angel before she turns the gun on me. "I'm sorry Buffy," she says, betraying me AGAIN, "but I can't let you live. Especially not after killing my employer."
I kick the gun out of her hand, sending it flying across the room, and incidentally breaking a few of the bones in her hand. She bows forward, crossing her arms and giggling. "What?" I say. "Lemme guess, you're not left handed?"
I never see the shot coming as I get hit in the gut.
[Where the heck did that gun come from? She must have a lot of room in those sleeves. Probably why the sweaters are always loose. More room that way.]
"Actually," she says, holding this undersize pistol in her right hand, "I'm not." She backs away, out of striking range, and takes careful aim at my head.
BANG.
Angel goes down, slumping to the side, bleeding from the head. Xander's across the room, still holding the smoking gun. Wordlessly, he places the gun on the floor, walks over to Angel. He takes off the ring that she gave him, places it beside her still body. Then he helps me up, and at last he speaks.
"C'mon," he says. "We need to call 911." He looks over at Will, his back to Angel. He bends down, inspecting the damage.
"How is he?" I ask.
At first he doesn't say anything. Then, "We need to get him to a hospital. NOW."
It seems like forever before the ambulance arrives. Another eternity passes as we ride with the EMTs. We get into this rythmn of waiting, where I ask him, and he asks me, and then we're both quietly nervous before it starts again. It carries us through Will's time in surgery, until at last we get word on whether or not he'll make it.
Turns out he's comatose. They tell me he might come out of it, or he might not. It all depends on whether or not he has a reason to live, to fight. Xander's really mad at himself for not thinking to use the hooch on Will before the EMTs threw it out.
We're alone with him in his room. Xander's just remembered to tell Cordy about him, when he gets all serious and looks me in the eyes.
"He's my oldest friend," he says. "But I can't save him. But you can, I -know- you can, if you'd just tell him."
"Tell him what?" I ask, not really wanting to admit it.
"How you feel about him," Xander goes. "How you really feel."
I go to say something, but Xander looks at me, cold and hard. I look over at Will, and it's like turning a faucet. Everything just comes pouring out. How kind Will is to me. How I feel drawn to him. How we fit together, even though we've known each other for little more than a year. How I never really stop thinking about him...how I love him.
[True love saved both Wills. This one, and the one in your world. But amazingly, they don't want to admit it. 'Oz!' 'Cordelia!' You stupid humans! What's up with you? Why do I have to help you? I guess I kinda feel sorry for you all. And then, there's the curse, of course.]
Just then Cordelia burst into the room, shoving me and Xander aside.
Groggily, Will wakes up. The tears are still in my eyes as he asks Cordy to quiet down -- how is he supposed to sleep? Oz asks me why I'm crying. I tell him they're tears of happiness. It is kinda true, from a certain point of view.
-----
*From the diary of Mary Lumiere, EMT at Sunndale General Hospital
Dear Diary,
What a wild day. Not that the usual day at Sunnydale General Hospital is boring...but today, we got this call. Some girl had gotten herself shot. And her friend...it looked like he'd been worked over by a whole gang.
Poor thing, it was really touch-and-go for a moment there with her friend. But everything turned out ok.
The weirdest thing was that this -other- girl, who'd taken this gunshot wound to the head -- and who previous girl and boyfriend seemed not to care about -- we realized that she was still alive, when she began drinking from this -blood packet- taped to the inside of her sweater! We took it away, of course.
[So that's where she hid the Three blood. Clever girl.]
What a sad little girl. We did what we could, but she doesn't even seem to remember her name. She'll probably spend the rest of her life like that, somewhere above vegetable but below person.
Oh well.
Funny thing