I'm at the Bronze and Xander's getting us a couple of drinks. All of a sudden, this...guy spots me and runs up to me and grabs me by the shoulders.

"Willow, thank God I've found you!" the crazy guy says. I know he's crazy, he has this desperate look in his eyes, and I've never met him before in my life, yet he's addressing me like we're old friends. Something occurs to me....

"How do you know my name?" I ask.

"It's me, it's Angel," he says. "Buffy..." His voice trails off. He looks awful. Is that blood on his shirt?

"Hands off the lady!" Xander says, interrupting.

'Touched-by-an' Angel -- and it's obvious he's been touched -- snarls at Xander. I get kinda worried, I mean the psycho is kinda big.

Xander decks him with a single punch.

'Angel' -- what kind of name is that for a guy, anyway? -- just lies there, shocked.

"When'd you get so strong?" he asks.

"Well, I work out," says Xander, trying be impressive, yet again. "You stay away from my girlfriend."

And then the freaky stuff started.

The big guy just broke down and started crying. "I was so wrong," he sobbed. "This isn't Heaven, it's Hell. Hell!"

"Xander..." I say.

I don't have to finish. He just looks at me, and his resolve crumbles. "C'mon, let's get Wonder Wuss some help."

He reaches down, grabs the big guy by the shoulder, hauls him up. 'Angel' is still sobbing.

He sniffles. "I can't believe this....I thought I was getting a second chance. I thought that when I came here, it was some kind of miracle, and maybe I could make things up to her somehow. Only she's not here. I don't think she ever even existed here. Because this is Hell!" He starts to sob again.

"There, there," I say, patting him reassuringly on the shoulder. "My mom is a therapist, and y'know, I have some experience dealing with things like this."

"So you really are Willow? Willow Rosenberg?" he asks.

"Yeah, guilty as charged," I say.

"You haven't been stalking her, have you?" Xander asks.

"Xander!"

"Because if you have -- "

"Nice to know some things don't change, Harris," the guy returns. "Even in Hell, you're still a punk."

Xander almost hits him again but I stop him. "How do you know us?" I ask.

"Long story," he says. "You wouldn't believe me."

"Try," I say.

"Well, I'm a vampire," he says. I stop Xander before he can say something sarcastic. "At least I used to be..." The guy makes a shaking turn with his head, like he's trying to get out of a hangover. "Y'see? Nothing! I'm human. Human....I never dreamed being mortal could hurt so much."

I lead him over to our table, and motion for him to sit down and keep talking.

"See, I was going destroy the world, send it to Hell," the guy explains.

"Because that's what vampires do," Xander interjects.

"No, not really," the guy says offhandedly. "Only the real visionaries, like I used to be."

"Oh yeah, that -- OOF!" I elbow Xander.

"You were saying?" I ask.

"I was good, for awhile, after a got my soul back -- vampires don't have souls, that's why they're so vicious -- but then I lost it, and started to torture Buffy," he continues.

"And this Buffy would be....?" I ask.

He looks like he's going to break down again. "My, uh..." He seems to search for the right words. "Girlfriend. Ex. She -- she killed me. And sent me here. To Hell."

"Sunnydale, California is Hell?" I ask. Skepticism permeates my voice to the nth degree.

"I knew you wouldn't believe me," he angsts. "Look, I know things about you. I know where you live, who you are."

"And this makes you -not- a stalker how?" Xander asks.

Vampire guy is still angsty. "Because I knew you. Back on Earth. And I don't know if you're demons or figments of my own tortured psyche, but maybe if I can convince you that what I went through is real, then maybe I can get out of here."

Xander snorts.

"So tell us about, um, us," I say.

"Well you're best friends," he says. But then he could've just picked that up from watching us. "Have been since childhood. Willow, the hacker and Xander, the slacker. You'd help me and Buffy by researching ancient prophecies in the library."

"The Sunnydale public library?" I ask, disbelieving. Of course this whole things -is- pretty preposterous, but I try and keep an open mind.

"No, the school library. Giles has it full of demonology texts, tomes, and codexes," Vampire Guy explains.

"Giles?" I ask.

"The school librarian," he explains.

"The school librarian is Mrs. Mitchell," Xander counters.

"Makes sense," Vampire Guy says thoughtfully. "Giles is Buffy's Watcher." He notices our confusion. "She's a Slayer. The Chosen One to fight the forces of Darkness. Her Watcher trains her, guides her."

"Watches her?" I suggest helpfully.

"Yeah, for the Watcher Council. They've been conducting a secret war against vampires for over thousand years."

"And what are we in this secret war?" Xander asks. "Bet we're pretty bad-ass." Xander gets a dreamy look in his eyes.

"Xander, are you imagining me in leather again?" I ask.

"Umn...no," he lies.

The guy appears disconcerted by the way the conversation's going, so he tries to put it back on track. "No, you're just ordinary people."

"But you're a vampire," I point out.

"Well yeah, back there," he explains. "I got cured, or something, by coming here."

"And this Buffy chick, she's some sorta superhero too, huh?" Xander asks.

"Well...yeah," Vampire Guy explains.

"At least the librarian is normal," I console Xander.

"Well, actually --" the guy says.

"What? The -librarian- has super powers and we don't? What kinda sick twisted universe is that?" Xander complains.

"Well, he isn't superhuman," Vampire Guy says.

Xander looks placated somewhat.

"I mean, he does know some magick, and has enough combat skill to train Buffy, but really --"

"Oh yeah! I bet in your twisted little imaginary universe, Willow and I aren't even together!" Xander shoots back.

The guy says nothing.

"C'mon -- Angel was it?" I say encouragingly. Sometimes Xander can be so callous. "It's ok to talk."

Angel hesistates before talking. "Well, you're not."

"Uh-huh. Right," Xander derisively. "So who are we dating?"

Angel looks at the cappuccino stains on the table.

I put my hand over one of his. "Angel, who are we dating in the other universe?"

He mumbles something.

"I can't hear you," I say gently.

"Oz and Cordelia," he says.

"Who's Oz?" I ask. Waitaminit "Cordelia?"

"Cordelia -Chase-?!" Xander asks. "Miss 'Bitch-Queen-of-the-Universe' Cordelia Chase? 'I-torment-you-for-fun-Xander-and-Willow' Cordelia Chase? I'm dating -her-? I think not!"

"You have to believe me, it's the truth!" Angel insists. "She really got nicer after her boyfriend died."

"Gee, how would she notice?" I deride. "So you're saying, Xander put aside over a decade of friendship with me to be with the woman we hate most on the entire planet?"

"It's not like you didn't get a good deal out of it!" Angel protests. "Oz, he's in a band! He's the lead guitarist! He's really nice! And Buffy told me that you always complained how Xander never noticed you!"

"Yeah, until Jesse died in that car accident," I return. "Until we both realized how short and precious life is. Until Xander told me he loved me." I get up, disgusted. "C'mon, Xander, let's go. This guy is obviously some toadie of Cordy's."

"I'm not!" he pleads.

"Yeah, right," Xander says. "Tell Cordelia that I appreciate her little prank. But better luck next time."

"Xander!" he begs.

We leave, as the guy is starts to sob again. Cordy must've paid him well. He's a good actor. Faithful to the end.

-----

"Pitiful," says the voice in my head.

"No, please," I cry. "I can't take any more. Please."

"Angelus, for someone with such a gift for torture, you have a remarkably low tolerance for true suffering," says the voice.

I sob.

"You told me you could take this," the voice says. "You told me you'd endure anything to get back."

"I was wrong," I say. "Just get me out of here." Here hurt so much. "I expected flames, demons, but nothing like this. I never thought I'd have to live a normal happy life in a world where she never even existed."

A scaled arm reaches out of my shadow on the wall, claws glowing with subdued power.

"Take my hand," says the voice.

I take it without a moment's hesitation.

For the briefest of moments, everything goes black, then I emerge in a more familiar place.

Flaming pits containing tormented souls scar the ground below the hillock where we stand. The soil is cold and burnt to ash. Demons leer about with sadistic grins on their faces, torturing the souls on random whims.

The annunaki's back is to me, so I can only see silvery angel's wings. "Better?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say.

"Good," come the soft resonant voice in my head. "You'll be here for quite awhile." He turns to face me, and I see the dragon face and eyes like an endless starscape. "Chain yourself up in one of the firepits, and we can begin."

Slowly at first, then faster, I make my way down the hill to my damnation.

-----

I turn back to look at the guy, but he's gone.

"Xander," I ask, "do you think there's really a Hell?"

He looks thoughtful. It's an unusual look for him, but I like it. It's like seeing him in a fresh light.

"No, Will, I don't," he says. "I think life is what you make of it." He smiles at me. "You're not going to get damned just because you screwed up once, or however many times."

"Gee," I smirk, "thanks."

He winces, realizing he's put his foot in his mouth yet again. "I mean, just because a certain someo